


The Princeling's Journey

by Baknami



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: AU, Except a few things which are Sacred, Gen, Giantass Parody, Nothing is Sacred
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-09
Updated: 2015-11-16
Packaged: 2018-04-30 19:23:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 996
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5176790
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Baknami/pseuds/Baknami
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Papyrus is relegated to "kawaii damsel princess" in a Skeletal Royalty AU.  To which he goes "NYEHEHEHNOT", flips everyone off, and jumps the walls because you can't contain this much MAN...SKELETON.  I THINK.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Baknami: Also this "AU where Sans and Papyrus are royalty"  
> Baknami: Papyrus immediately relegated to "Sheltered Princess"  
> Baknami: *weeps softly*  
> Baknami: He's even got the kawaii fig leaf princess stance  
> Friend: omfg  
> Friend: like he ever listens to Sans  
> Friend: and Sans loves watching him go nuts  
> Baknami: SANS YOU ARE A LAZY BUTT AND I'M GOING ON AN ADVENTURE
> 
> no don't *snore*
> 
> SEE YOU BYE.  
> Friend: ^

Once Upon A Time there was a magical Kingdom of Monsters, and in this world, there were two members of Skeletal Royalty. One of them was a lazy-ass king that didn't actually rule anything and relegated everything to his regent. King Sans spent most of his time each day face down on a pillow, snoring away, but since Regent Toriel was so good at her job, no one thought to dethrone him.

Besides, if the Monsters *did* kick King Sans off the throne, they'd probably have to let Prince Papyrus rule instead, and that was just a recipe for disaster oh my god. Since the royal family was mostly a figurehead at this point, giving Papyrus any sort of power, even fake, would probably cause it to go to his head and he'd do something stupid like steal everyone's spaghetti.

So instead Sans attempted to rein in his brother's crazy shenanigans by keeping him in the palace. Hey, it wasn't like he was going to blow up in his face, right? And even if it did, Toriel would fix everything, because what good was a regent if they didn't fix royal screw-ups?

Prince Papyrus was very unhappy with the way he was being treated, however; he wanted to be a cool awesome knight and fight evil Humans and get tons of people to smooch him! It would totally be great and Sans just didn't understand because he didn't smooch anyone. It was probably because he was too lazy to, because who wouldn't want to smooch a king? It really was a no-brainer. Which was why Papyrus could figure it out, given his lack of gray matter.

“SANS THIS IS REALLY BORING AND THIS CASTLE IS TOO SMALL TO FIT MY SHENANIGANS IN,” Papyrus announced one day to Sans, who had managed to get his lazy ass out of his bed and promptly found a couch to nap on.

“don't you mean your...”

“SANS I SWEAR TO GOD.”

“shenanisans?”

Papyrus shoved a pillow over the king's head, as if attempting to suffocate his brother. Unfortunately(?) Sans didn't have lungs so that didn't really work, “SANS I AM VERY SERIOUS,” Papyrus shouted as he pulled back the pillow and glared at the snoring skeleton, “I WANT TO SEE THE WORLD AND BE A GREAT HERO.”

“well first you need to get training, right?” Sans asked, letting one of his legs dangle off of the couch as he yawned, “lemme call in lady undyne and you guys can duke it out until she deems you ready for hero-dom.”

That seemed to placate the young princeling, who swept his brother up into his arms and snuggled him tightly, “THANKS SANS! YOU'RE THE BEST!”

“yeah thanks bro. now i gotta go to see tori and discuss our taxes. i'm late.”

“THEN WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON THE COUCH?” Papyrus asked, pulling Sans back and watching him loll about like a doll.

Sans' smile widened. “it's impossible for me to move; an evil witch cast a spell on me. you're going to have to carry me.” Papyrus trembled with rage at how lazy his brother was and how much he tried to avoid work...

...And yet he still found himself carrying the king into the meeting room, tucked under his arm like a football.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Papyrus has a training session with Undyne. Sans continues to teleport.

Sans actually was true to his word, but only because he told Toriel about it before he forgot, as the next week Lady Undyne, greatest hero in all of the Monster Kingdom, arrived in the castle gardens to properly beat the crap out of a prince. “I'm not going to hold back on you just because you're royalty, you know!” the fish woman shouted, twirling her spear around.

“GEE WHIZ, I SHOULD HOPE NOT!” Papyrus shouted in return, raising his rapier in salute.

... ... ...There was silence for a minute as Undyne stared at the princeling and his weapon of choice.

“OH MY GOD!!” Undyne shouted, chucking her spear away in disgust, “You can't use a rapier! Those aren't for killing people! They're barely able to pinprick! How are you going to destroy all of the humans with such a wimpy toothpick!”

“BUT ALL NOBLES HAVE TO LEARN THE FINE ART OF FENCING...” Papyrus began, just before Undyne yanked a giant sword up from behind her and tossed it at the prince.

“HEY NERD, CATCH!”

Papyrus nearly broke every bone in his spine when he tumbled to the floor, and Undyne howled in laughter. “Man, this is going to be the best practice session!!”

And the best practice session it was, because it was the only one. Papyrus never managed to actually lift the sword above his waist, and it was mostly dull, but with enough centrifugal force he was able to hit Undyne by slamming it into her side like a club. She flew seven feet before she slammed into the wall and absolutely destroyed it.

Back in the accounting room, Toriel felt a chill run down her spine, as if the entire treasury suddenly screamed out in unison and then went quiet.

Undyne, meanwhile, popped out of the rubble and spat out a tooth. “Awww HELL YES, now THAT'S what I want to see! You're going to be the best hero around! Just like, add some Blue Magic to that sword and you'll have passed my test!”

Papyrus dropped his sword and approached his friend, “ARE YOU OKAY LADY UNDYNE? YOU'RE WOBBLING A BIT...”

“I am the OPPOSITE of fine!” Undyne shouted angrily at Papyrus, “And you should never give your opponent any mercy! I could have... killed...” Undyne was cut off the moment she dropped onto the rubble and passed out.

Sans stared at the unconscious fish knight with a tsk. “welp, i guess tori's gunna have to call the royal doctor. i'm far too busy surveying the damage to this wall to do it.”

“WELL WHY DON'T I CALL DR. ALPH-”

“shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh” Sans whispered, raising a bony finger to his brother's teeth, “shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh-hhhhhhhhhhhshhhhhhhhhhhhhh-hhhhhhhhhhh... i'm concentrating.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> People give Papyrus a fencing rapier and that's cool because he doesn't like killing things and that would make sense. You know, if Undyne weren't teaching him how to murder things.
> 
> Bones tend to be used as clubs so obviously what else would you do with a 2-handed sword aside from swing it around until it snaps a spine in half? Or takes a head off from the force and not the actual sharpness?
> 
> *Weapons are scary things people oh my god*


End file.
